The Space Between Words
When not actively doing something, space is left for things to actively happen. Maybe progress occurs just as much in the moments of calm, reflection and listening as it does in the moments of work and doing. Listening to your inner voice. Listening to the person next to you. Listening to the wind and the birds and the lawn mower next door. Sitting with the sounds and seeing what shifts around you. This is the space between words. This is where growth happens.
This weekend was my new hospice training after a 12 year break. In the training, I was reminded about the importance of meeting people where they are. Hospice is not about ‘fixing’ people. It is about being present, being of service and extending love and compassion to those at the end of life. I had this idea that because I have a history with hospice and am now a naturopathic doctor that the training and subsequent scenarios would be obvious for me. And, I was wrong. I realized how ingrained in me the need to ‘fix it’ is. There are many situations where I know I will feel the desire to say or do something, to make things ‘better’.
For instance, what to do when a patient expresses a fear of dying. My first ten thoughts include talking and trying to ease the patient’s mind. That’s a fruitless path. How in the world is something I say going to ease the mind of a person whom is dying? Listening to a person express fear and anxiety is much more meaningful and powerful. I am certain this is going to take time and reflection to sort. But it sure got me thinking about how many times in my life listening might be the best option. Actually pausing and letting my mind rest and sift. And just as I type this my three year old daughter wants to talk to me and tell me about her legos. She is saying that it is ‘bullshit’ that she doesn’t get to have a new set. So, I am off to practice the art of listening, the art of word choice and the art of living in the space between words.
